"For Pete's sake Sheila, read your own blog!!"

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love the magic in the air, the secrets under the tree, the Christmas carols we sing at church, Christmas music blaring from my car stereo, my iPod, my computer.  I love spending so much time with my kids, baking cookies, wrapping presents, shopping, watching every Christmas movie they play on TV. I get so giddy, I even see Christmas cheer in the green and red traffic lights! Nothing gets me down, no one, not the biggest Grinch in the world can dampen my spirit. Therefore, it is really not that much of a surprise that I kind of hate to see it all end. I miss my kids something terrible when the time comes for them to get back on that yellow school bus. I miss my hubby when he has to go back to work. Taking down the tree? That's just a Debbie downer right there!!

While I go through all of these emotions every year, they never last for long. I like the concept of a fresh calendar just waiting to be filled, new adventures I have yet to experience, 365 days of the unknown. All of these things are so exciting to me. So that's why this year it has surprised me at how desperately I clung to the old year and reluctantly drug myself into the new. I didn't even hang my new calendar for five whole days!! A travesty!!!   Typically I look forward to the new school term and am so excited about my new classes and all the interesting things that are waiting to be discovered.  But this year, I felt none of that. No motivation whatsoever. I wanted to just stay home, light candles, wear my fluffy socks and warm pj pants and just become a blob. I was ready to quit school and just become a movie critic or a go into some online business; anything that would allow me to never leave my house.  I wasn't depressed, I just was...well...I hate to say it...LAZY!

Now typically, I would never share these thoughts or feelings with anyone. I am really good at giving myself a kick in the butt when I start to get like that, but yesterday, I was talking to a very good friend, my BFF, if you will.  We were talking about everything and nothing then I found myself telling her how unmotivated I was and how tired I was of being in school and living my life around papers and deadlines; class schedules, leaving my family three nights a week. All of this just came pouring out and my friend started feeding my own material back at me. She told me I just needed to change my perspective; that I am so close to being finished, that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then she looked at me (via facetime) and said "For Pete's sake Sheila, read your own blog!!"  It shocked me and made me laugh. Who am I to give advice or encourage people if I am not willing to swallow a dose of my own medicine? So I humbly listened to one of my favorite people tell me all the things I've told her and I knew it was time to pull up my boot straps, stop whining and  'get 'er done!"  Yes, I did just say that. I'm so ashamed.

Tonight I had my last class of the week and am happy to say I am feeling slightly (slightly) more motivated than I was last night.  I genuinely enjoyed my classes and am getting slightly (slightly) excited about what I'm going to be learning this quarter. But more importantly I am starting to look forward to the new year. This year my husband turns the big 50.  I am sending my oldest son off to college. My youngest son becomes a teenager! My baby girl starts middle school.  My oldest is already in college and I am sure she will face many changes this year as well. And this time next year, I will be getting ready for graduation.  Yes, this is going to be a great year!! I can feel it in my bones!!! Happy New Year everyone!!!