As I told you in my introduction, we have more dogs than I am comfortable admitting to, however, while it may seem impossible, we love them all to death! They are all very spoiled and well taken care of. That being said, I have to remind my children that they are still dogs and do not have the same privileges we enjoy. They can't eat at the dinner table with us, sorry. They can't eat our food and they're not allowed on the furniture. Now the latter rule is more recent and has met with some resistance from both the two-legged members of the family and the four-legged ones. Our previous set of furniture was more than a decade old and had holes in it and was basically, in extreme disrepair. The dogs were allowed on that couch. But now, I have a beautiful new set of leather furniture which, if one of the dogs even THINKS about approaching, affords them with a look that would wither a military general! They seem to be adjusting well, but there is one little exception to the rule.
The exception is a little four pound black angel whose name is Jill. She is mine and mine alone. Jill can do no wrong and is denied nothing, basically. I should, perhaps, feel a little bad for showing favor for one of my pets over the other, but I can say with total certainty, I do not. I got her when she was six weeks old; she was the mate for my Yorkie Jack. Jack was my baby until he was hit by a car a few years ago. After that fateful day, Jill and I became best pals. As I write this blog, she is nestled beside me with her head on my leg. I do wonder sometimes though, if the other dogs notice the discrepancy in the treatment. When they look at me with those big brown eyes, are they thinking "Why do you love her more than me?" Do they cry in their beds at night feeling as if they are less of a dog than Jill is? Are they secretly plotting among themselves, my demise? I wonder...
As a mother, I work VERY hard to ensure that I do not show favoritism for one child over the other. However, every now and then, one of my children will accuse me of such. Sometimes the older ones think the we are easier on the younger ones than we were on them. Other times, we're accused of punishing the little ones less than we punished the older ones. Many times I hear that the little ones have more privileges than the older ones had at the same age. From time to time, one will say that I spend more time with one of the younger ones than I spend with them. On the flip side of the coin, the little ones will accuse me of favoring the older ones and 'taking their side' on a regular basis. I've even been accused of letting the older ones get away with things they would never get away with.
While these accusations might seem like just adolescent dramatics, I always spend a few moments alone thinking about my actions, going over things and making sure I was fair. A wise friend once said to me "when someone accuses you of something, take a moment and sit with it and see if there is any truth. If there is truth, change it and if there isn't, then just let it go." That advice has been so helpful to me both in friendships, in my marriage and as a mother. Sometimes, I'm accused of something and after careful introspection, I find there is some truth in it. While it is always disappointing, it gives me the opportunity to grow and improve myself.
One thing I do know as a mother, is that many of the things my children see as unfairness or disparity in treatment, will someday look much different when applying an adult perspective. I rely on that knowledge to get me through some tough moments. Another aspect of this, which I try to express to my older children, is that when they were little, we were just starting out on the journey of parenting. There was no rule book, no instruction manual. Most of the time, we were flying by the seat of our pants and making it up as we went along. Did we make mistakes? Yes! Were we too hard on the older ones when they were younger? Yes, I think at the time, we were. Were we doing the best we could with the information we had? Absolutely! I can't go back and undo the past but I can learn from my mistakes and failures and try to not repeat them.
One thing I know for certain. Each of my children are amazing and will forever hold a piece of my heart. None of them will ever know how much I love them or what I would give for them. Now...as for the dogs, yeah, Jill is my girl. There is no question. Yes, she gets better treatment and I don't apologize for that. And the reason I can get away with this with my dogs and not my children...my dogs don't choose my nursing home!
No comments:
Post a Comment